Broken but Breathing (Jinx Tattoos Book 2) Page 3

  “Good job, Estelle,” Patrick, her instructor, said.

  She flashed him a small smile and placed the bottle down. She’d be able to wow the customers with the best of them once she graduated. The thought of working somewhere small and a little wild kept her optimistic. Maybe if she spent the day listening to everyone else’s problem, her own would remain at bay.

  “I think that’s it for the day. You guys are doing really well. I don’t see any of you having a problem finding a job after you get your certificates. I hope you’ll take advantage of the job placement assistance we offer.”

  Her heart sank. Today had gone by too fast. She wasn’t ready to leave. Anxiety gnawed at her insides. The classes were at night, which made it about eleven. There were no coffee shops to linger in, or books stores to browse at. Short of walking around the twenty-four-hour grocer aimlessly, she was screwed. Her stomach gurgled as she gathered her folder, and purse, and said her good-byes. Conversation rose around her as students chatted happily.

  Envy turned her pea green. Each of them had lives to get back to. She’d attended the grief meetings once a week. They helped, even if she didn’t always speak. She hadn’t seen Snake since the first night, which bothered her more than it should. The tattooed biker had a magnetic quality about him. From the minute she stepped in the room, she’d felt a strong pull in his direction.

  He was the furthest thing from Everett and the crew she came up with. She liked that most. Honesty and frankness were qualities she craved. The abandonment, dismissal, and cruelty she’d faced at the hands of her friends changed her perception of the world. He had the look of a man one would call a straight shooter. She preferred his bluntness to nicely decorated lies.

  She unlocked her car, slipped behind the wheel, and did her best to keep her emotions from spilling over. Today her baby girl, Emma, would’ve been two had she made it to her birthdate. She forced herself to start the car, and pull away. Last thing I need is anyone asking me what’s wrong. Her phone flashed. She had two missed messages. Mom and Jolene. While she loved both women, she couldn’t talk to them. Their gentle, well-meaning words would make her scream her throat raw. Tears flooded her eyes, and the road wavered. She pulled over on a side street. Her chest ached; her head pounded. She gripped the wheel and coughed as her body shook. She had nowhere to go and no one to call.

  The hiccups began, and she knew from experience she had to calm down, or she’d be ill. Choking back her sobs, she glanced up at the ceiling. Ignorance was bliss. She’d been so caught in her misery last year the loneliness hadn’t registered. She wrapped her arms around her waist and rocked back and forth in an attempt to self-sooth. I have to be stronger than this. The image of Snake flashed in her mind. He was her buddy. Everyone needs a support group. She beat back the self-deprecating mental talk and clung to Dr. Nimoy’s teaching. No more relapses. This year I move on. Reaching across the center console, she grabbed her phone. Her hand shook as she pressed Snake’s name. Sucking down air, she tried to calm herself while the phone rang.

  “Estelle? You okay?” His gruff voice was the answer to an unspoken prayer.

  “S-Snake.” The sound of loud rock and rowdy men nearly drowned out his baritone. A party during the week?

  “Hold on, I need to take this outside.”

  She sniffed, swiping at her eyes as she concentrated on the lifeline he’d extended the minute he answered her call. I’m not alone anymore.

  “You still there?” he asked.

  “Y-yes.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “T-today would’ve been my daughter’s second birthday.”

  He whistled. “Those are always the hardest to get through. The significant days, huh?”

  She nodded. He understands. “Where are you right now?”

  “I-I don’t know. I pulled over, so I didn’t wreck.”

  “Take a deep breath, girl. You’re okay. You don’t have to go through this shit alone this year.” His voice was comforting. She differed to his dominance, grateful to have a guiding voice.

  She gulped down air, taking back more control.

  “Better?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Look around and tell me what you see,” he instructed.

  “I’m near Downton off of Vine Street,” she said, taking in the rundown buildings yet to be renovated. They’d cleaned up the once urban area, but there were spots that had yet to get the makeover treatment.

  “Not a good place to be this late at night.”

  “I don’t want to go home,” she whispered. Her face was on fire as she forced the words out, ashamed of the truth. Her shoulders slumped and she fixed her gaze on the steering wheel.

  “I can understand that. How about you come to me?”

  His words gave her pause. “Me come to you?” Hope flooded her.

  “Yeah, why not?”

  “I don’t want to impose—”

  “Bullshit, babe. You didn’t call me to talk over the phone.”

  “I don’t know why I called you,” she said honestly.

  “Because you need someone, and for some reason you trust me. Which is why I’m going to give you my address. You’re going to come over, and we’ll get through this night together. You’re already ahead of the game. You reached out. Trying to do this alone leads to more pain and bad decisions. I don’t want to see you go down that road. Trust me, I did it enough for the both of us.”

  “Where did it take you?” she asked, speaking without thinking.

  He sighed. “Down a bottle and behind a cell with assault charges.”

  Her eyes widened. “Oh.”

  He snickered. “Oh, she says. You ready to listen to me now?”

  His candidness cracked open her shell.

  “Yes.”

  “Good girl. You got a pen and paper?”

  She dug in her purse, pulling out a pen and tiny notebook. “Uh huh.”

  “Okay, take down my address.” She jotted down his information. “You’re about thirty minutes away. I’ll be out front waiting for you, all right?”

  “Yes. Snake?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you.”

  “Don’t need to thank me for shit. I know your pain. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy or leave you alone to deal with it. I know we ended up thrown together at the group. I’m not much for being anyone’s buddy. But support I can do.”

  They disconnected, and she sat up in her car and wiped away her tears. Clearing her throat, she re-started the car, pulled out of her parking space, and hit the road. The farther she got from the city lights, the better she felt. The darkness was a welcoming friend. You could hide all your insecurities, flaws, and tears in its inky velvet. Slowing to make sure she found the drive, she turned off the main road. Is this a fortress or something? She didn’t know much about Motorcycle Clubs. She’d never been into the T.V. shows that depicted them, but she knew they weren’t people who tolerated disrespect, or people in their business.

  Shame washed over her. She hadn’t expected Snake to be so kind. Snake, I wonder how he got that name? She’d noticed the brightly done traditional style snake tattoo that peeked out of his white T-shirt. But something told her the name came before the tattoos. What am I doing coming here? I don’t even know his real name. I used to be smarter. She hesitated at the bend, just before the curve that would lead her to the building she saw in the distance.

  The bond she felt with Snake made no sense. She knew next to nothing about the man, other than his story. It was more connection than she held with anyone else, which had to mean something. That I’ve finally gone off the deep end. This man doesn’t run in the same circles I’m used to. She paused. And maybe that’s the best thing of all. The old Estelle was timid and soft-spoken. This time around she would be bold, and fearless. Because a life lived carefully and overt
hought, was not any safer.

  Events unfolded unpredictably no matter how you tried to stack the odds in your favor. Clearing her throat, she flexed the muscles in her arm, cracked her neck, and pushed the pedal moving the car forward. Snake was leaned against the wall outside in a black pea coat. His collar was upturned, and he had a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He’s a new age James Dean. With his tattoos covered he was downright striking.

  His broad shoulders filled out the coat, and his dark hair was slicked back from his face. Never one for beards, she had to admit the neatly groomed facial hair added to his rustic appeal. The gentle smile he gave her changed his demeanor drastically. His lips curved upward, and his eyes lost their coldness. The transformation took the edge off her internal panic. Whoever this man was, he cared for some godforsaken reason. That’s what mattered. Life wasn’t black and white. She wouldn’t continue to live by absolutes and preconceived notions. It was all about what a person showed you. Pulling up in front of him she cut the engine, unsure of what to do next as he stalked toward her door with the predatory grace of a lean jungle cat.

  Hypnotized by his movement, she remained in the car.

  He opened up the door and leaned in. “You getting out or you plan on staying there all night?”

  “I haven’t decided yet.”

  He snickered. “Fair enough, but I imagine it’s going to get pretty cold in a minute. You nervous?”

  She looked up at him and shrugged.

  “Think of it this way…you know the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. That’s more than most of my brothers can say.”

  “You have siblings?”

  He laughed. “Naw, that’s what I call the other members in the club.”

  “Oh. I don’t know much about…umm, clubs.”

  He smirked. “Didn’t figure you did. It doesn’t seem like your scene.”

  The words felt like a challenge.

  She glanced up at him from underneath her lashes. “You never can tell.”

  His lips quirked upward. “No, I guess not. You got more fire than I initially imagined. Hold on to that. It’ll keep you going in the end. Get out. We’ll head inside. If you want to talk, I’ll listen. If not, I’ll keep our minds off anything too serious.”

  “You can’t promise that,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping from the car.

  “You’ll find out soon enough I don’t make promises I can’t keep. This ain’t your world. Once we step through the door, you’ll be entering the greatest show on Earth.”

  “What, a circus?” she asked, wrinkling her nose as she imagined a sexual orgy-style free for all.

  “Fuck no, real freedom. This is life the way it was meant to be lived. No bullshit, politically correct mumbo jumbo, or restrictions. You and I know more than most all the restrictions placed upon us don’t really keep us safe.”

  His words eerily echoed her own thoughts. She saw the man in a new light.

  “You understand?”

  “I think I do,” she replied nervously.

  “What’s it going to be, Estelle? Talking or living?”

  “Living,” she answered, feeling firmly in control for the first time that day.

  “I won’t let anything happen to you. If you give them respect, my brothers will return it. You don’t seem like the type to mouth off, but I’ll tell you now that equality shit doesn’t fly here. If you give them shit or lip, they’re going to shut you down.”

  Her stomach dropped into her shoes. She felt like she was on a roller coaster, and the sensation made her feel alive. Like a hypothermia victim immersed in warm water it was a painful yet necessary process.

  “You trust me?” he asked.

  “I don’t know why, but I do,” she stated, closing the door behind her.

  §

  Snake

  She stopped in the doorway. “Before we go in, I have one question.”

  “What’s that?” he asked, unsure of what she’d say. The woman was a wreck. A beautiful disaster to be sure, but unpredictable as hell. It kept him on his toes and touched one of his few soft spots. He remembered that out of control period. Mike had been the one to get him on the path. He wanted to pay the favor forward.

  “What’s your name?”

  “Xavier.”

  “That’s a good, strong name,” she whispered.

  “Yeah, my parents thought so, too.” Opening the door, he guided her inside. He didn’t expand on the explanation; this visit wasn’t about him. He’d never met a woman who could hold a candle to his wife, Jade, and Estelle was his wife’s polar opposite. Women could warm his bed, and ride his cock, but they didn’t belong in his life or touch the dead organ that remained behind in his sternum. The red muscles continued to pump blood through his veins, but that’s where it ended.

  “Holy shit, you ordered some entertainment? What is she, a business lady?” a voice crowed.

  Snake met a pair of black eyes filled with filthy intentions.

  “No, Dirty, she’s not.”

  “What? You going to tell me she’s just a friend?” Dirty sneered.

  Snake stared him down and remained silent.

  Dirty snickered. “Embarrassed that you brought home your waitress?”

  “Bartender actually,” Estelle said, shocking him.

  “Is that right?” Dirty asked. The amused expression on Dirty’s face eased the tension. The man liked to stir up shit up. He had a mean streak and a love for easy women. To each their own.

  “I’m still in training, which is why I’m dressed like this. Good impression and all that. Trying to get a decent job when I get out of school.”

  Dirty did an about face. “Shit. You brought me someone who knows about alcohol. Let’s get her ass behind the bar and see what she’s got,” he said, issuing him a challenge.

  Women who weren’t there for a good time made him nervous. So, the Sergeant at Arms always put them through the paces. He could try to protect her, but it would make things worse in the end. She needed to prove she could stand on her own.

  “You up for it?” Snake asked. He glanced down at the slight woman who showed signs of having a backbone.

  “Yeah. As long as you don’t expect me to do any fancy moves I think I can handle the basics.” The haunted look faded. Her eye grew bright, and she stood a little taller. He decided to let the scenario play out.

  “All right then, girly. Get your ass behind the bar,” Dirty said.

  Her jaw ticked. He held his breath waiting for her to snap at Dirty. The man had a way of getting under people’s skin. She stalked around the bar, ignoring the curious and lustful stares from his brothers.

  Snake moved to the end of the bar, and met their gazes, letting them know without a word she was off limits. He promised her safe passage, and distraction. She’d be getting both in spades. The black pants highlighted how painfully thin she’d become. Her legs looked like twigs and her ass was nonexistent. There were many things he had no control over, but food wasn’t one of them.

  “Band-Aid,” he barked at the brawny brunette who worked as a Registered Nurse. The boy was a walking contradiction. Despite his massive size he had a knack for fixing people.

  “Yeah, VP,” he replied, hovering at his side.

  “I want an order of wings and two orders of waffles fries. Ten Teriyaki, ten Buffalo-style, and ten Honey Whiskey BBQ.”

  “I’m on it.” Band-Aid quickly disappeared in the rapidly gathering crowd.

  It was a Wednesday which meant it was slow, and he never brought women in from the outside. The lot gossiped like teenage girls half the time, and he’d given them new fodder. It was the one major drawback of having such a tight-knit family.

  She shrugged off her jacket, and he took in her tiny waist. Woman looks like a strong wind could blow her over. He imagined her with meat
on her bones.

  “What do we know about this one?”

  He turned to see Mike in his personal space.

  “Not too much.”

  “But you’re bringing her around?”

  “She needs a friend.”

  “That’s what Facebook is for,” Mike said.

  After shit went down with the IRA, his President had been on edge, and cautious of anyone new who came around.

  “I met her in my grief group, man.” He ran a hand through his hair and cracked his neck. “I couldn’t let her battle this shit on her own. Her kid would’ve been two today.”

  “Damn, tough break. I feel for her. But we need to make sure she’s secure.”

  “You want to have Data look her over, be my guest,” he said.

  “Do you even know her full name or address?” Mike asked.

  Snake shook his head. “Wasn’t important.”

  “It should’ve been. You’re getting sloppy, brother. That leads to mistakes.”

  “She’s not a part of this world. There’s no threat. She’s a lonely ass woman broken, hurting, and trying to piece together her life after some terrible shit. She’d looked familiar to me since I met her. I couldn’t place her until recently. She was all over the news a few years back for being caught in that tornado. If Data looks up Estelle Noll, he’ll find novels worth of info.”

  “Shit. That little thing survived a tornado?” Mike said.

  Snake nodded. “She’s stronger than she looks. She just needs to remember that.”

  “And you’re taking this on yourself, why? You can’t bring Jade and Jocelyn back. I don’t want you to get your shit twisted. I need you sharp.”

  “Don’t you think I know that? She couldn’t be less like Jade if she tried,” Snake snapped, pissed that Mike doubted him.

  “Make sure you don’t forget where your priorities lay. I’ll talk to Data about running her info. If anything comes up, I want this shutdown.”

  “It won’t,” Snake growled.

  “We’ll see,” Mike said.

  Snake let the man’s words roll off his back like water. It was his job to keep the club safe. The task placed a heavy weight on Mike. Bigger organizations than the Wild Ones had been brought down by a mole implanted amongst the ranks. He returned his attention to the small woman rolling up the sleeves of her white button down and putting on what he could only describe as her game face. His lips flickered into the ghost of a smile. With her furrowed brow and narrowed gaze, she faced down Dirty with all the intensity of a gunfighter.